I spoke with my friend last night about going out and we couldn’t decide at what point the idea no longer becomes appealing. Why would we rather go to a friends, stand in a kitchen putting the world to rights, doing kitchen kareoke, having rap battles (based on true events)? Below are a list of reasons why I just can’t be ar**d!
- You start becoming the oldest one in a club full of millenials. The lads have combovers and perfectly threaded brows, the girls are contoured to perfection with the help of a bit of filler and botox at 21 🙄 wearing body con dresses and LV or Channel bags that you still cant afford so all your thinking is “well where did the money come from to buy that?!”
- Your decisions on a bar become based around if you have anywhere to sit. This can result in being FORCED to get a both, that’s another £50pp just to sit down.
- The enormous bar qeues are just a complete waste of life!
- For some reason taking my shoes off is frowned upon by security!
- As is falling asleep mouth wide open!
- More queuing for the toilet, a basic human right, which is rammed full of millenials re applying their contour.
- So you’ve got through the above. Now it’s time to go home. You wait in a taxi queue. The taxi driver tells you a £15 journey will cost £40! You know they’re completely mugging you off but you’ve had enough, you have been forced to put your shoes back onto crippled feet! You need a wee! Just take me home Del Boy!
- Next and possibly the worst part is checking your bank balance in the morning. You’re £150 down and all you have is a hangover and feet that are so blister covered they look like they’ve been dipped in bubonic plague.
Basically just don’t go out out if you want to avoid the above! If you do, come back in a few years and read this. I guarantee you will relate!